How I Spent My Snow Day

  1. Wake up
  2. Eat breakfast
  3. Shovel
  4. Work (trying to convince my children to do something else)
  5. Eat Lunch
  6. Shovel
  7. Work (kids napping)
  8. Take mother-in-law to hospital
  9. Work
  10. Shovel
  11. Pull kid in sled
  12. Pick up mother-in-law from hospital (broken wrist)
  13. Eat dinner
  14. Play with kids
  15. Put kids to bed
  16. Shovel
  17. Go to bed (now)

Stay tuned for poetic version.

Thanks Turkey

Canadian Thanksgiving weekend is upon us (have you ever seen a snow turkey?) and it has got me thinking about the true meaning of our holidays.  The tradition that has helped build our culture and holds such importance that we honour it each year.

Thanksgiving.  I think we can all agree that the history and tradition stems from that term.  Happy Thanksgiving!  Thanks for giving us your land, indigenous people, and even though there is enough for everyone we are going to take it all anyway. In order to celebrate this every year we will have a meal in which we eat way more than any single person needs while others go with nothing.

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How We Are Making Ourselves Dummer

I wrote an article on the dangers of the internet.  It is not just the predators that we have to watch out for.  In an effort to continue my social media experiment I have posted it through Triond, but please go ahead and read it.  Sorry for all the ads.

Article here.

Oh dear, what have I done to my child?

A man stands alone in a bathroom in his house, leaning against the counter.  In his hand is a toothbrush.  A child’s toothbrush, toothpaste already applied and moistened with a splash of water.

He waits.  Patiently?  Somewhat, I suppose.

A four-year old girl with striking resemblance to the man runs by the bathroom door.  A moment later she runs past in the other direction and darts into her room.

He waits.  Patiently?  Perhaps, but less so than before.

The girl appears again and this time runs into the bathroom.  The man steps forward in anticipation, but rather than stop she continues on to the tissue box.  She announces her need for a tissue, takes a tissue from the box and runs out of the bathroom.  The man returns to his leaning position.

He waits.  Patiently?  Not so much anymore.

The man takes in a breath and prepares to call to the girl but holds back as the girl re-enters the bathroom.  Once again, though, she does not stop at the man, but rather turns to the towel rack and wipes something from her hands.

“I love standing here waiting for you” the man says.

“No you don’t, daddy” the daughter replies.

The man sighs with the realization that his four-year old daughter has just learned sarcasm.

Social Media: Part 4 – Triond

I came across Triond while doing some general social media Googling.  Here is my somewhat sad profile.

Triond provides the ability for a user to submit articles to be posted on various other blogs and sites.  The articles can be of any topic, though Triond must approve them.  The user has no control over where the articles get posted, but you know where it is so that you can promote it.  Based upon the sort of traffic your articles get you will get paid.

I knew that this was not going to help very much with promoting One Good Minute but I thought I could link to it from my Triond profile.  I was intrigued to see how the system worked and what the payout seemed to be, so I gave it a shot.

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Spam Triumvirate

Lately I have become obsessed with my Spam folder. I keep feeling that what appears to be a random bombardment of garbage may actually be a complex yet ordered system and if I can decipher the code it will unlock a cache of secrets that I cannot even imagine.

Unraveling the mystery starts with trying to answer this one simple question. Why are 99% of the contents of my Spam box related to the following 3 topic:

  1. Pharmaceuticals
  2. Making my penis larger / harder
  3. Watches

What is the link? Why does Spam love these things and vice-versa? I cannot seem to find a common thread connecting the three. Drugs vs. jewelry vs. length and firmness. I can find some commonalities between various pairing:

  • Watches / Penis Enlargement – Vanity, making yourself look better
  • Pharmaceuticals / Watches – Spam generally focuses on cheaper deals and “knock offs”
  • Pharmaceuticals / Penis Enlargement – Here’s to feeling good all the time

The big picture is not revealing itself. I’m nervous about the next step, which is to make contact. I need to engage the Spam, but how? Ben Gates, Robert Langdon, what do I do?

Nice Hair

Is it enough to just start opening and reading all of them? Do I mark them as “Not Spam” and see what happens when the move into the world of real email? Do I actually start clicking links and ordering products? Will I get dragged so deep into the mystery that I will be found high on Hydrocodone, arms and legs covered in watches and a 16 inch erection? How deep am I willing to go?  How deep can I go (this question was actually put to my by my Spam)?

If anything should happen to me... make sure Annette gets the car.

If you don’t hear from me in 3 months, don’t come looking for me. I am probably dead and will eventually be found floating face down in your Spam box.

1000 Visits – Time To Party (and exploit my kid)

My blog has reached 1000 visits in about 6 weeks.  Not too shabby considering I have not told any friends or family about it.  Thanks to you for the visits, be you friend, random visitor, follower of celebrity tweet or spam-bot.  Drinks are on me.

She doesn't like beer but she likes posing for photos.

Here’s to me becoming an Internet blogging sensation and quitting my job to write full-time (which I expect will happen right about the time that the Internet retires).

Active Writer’s Block

In order to battle my current bout of writer’s block I am going to list out the what I see as the problems.  Then I will go back and propose possible solutions to myself.  So to you this list will look complete from the start, but trust me, this was an “exercise” for me.

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Review: Me as a Music Reviewer

Music is all about an emotional reaction.  There are many talented people in the world who can move past the emotional reaction and analyze music objectively.  That’s not me.

I tried to test myself by reviewing the new Big Boi album.  I like hip hop to some degree but the album did nothing for me.  Yet all the “real” critics are saying what a great album it is.  How I Got Over by The Roots, on the other hand, is an album that I quite like.  Also getting great reviews all around.  So how do I get past my personal feelings to write a proper review?

Answer: I don’t.

Nobody really cares what I have to say about an album that I can’t connect to, so why bother.  When I connect to an album (which can happen whether or not I like it, but the way) then there are generally a few comments I can add to the cloud of opinion that I feel have relevance, so I will save my time and effort for those situations.

Does this make me a bad reviewer?  No, it just means I’m not likely to get paid for reviews, but I can live with that, because if I have to write 500 words on Big Boi it is going to make me cry.  And I don’t want to get paid to cry.

So in conclusion, this is a funny picture.

Back to the Books

Over the past 4 years I helped to bring two children into the world and in the process somehow lost the ability to finish reading a book.  I have rededicated myself to reading at the same time that I am diving back into writing.  Words words words.

My reading rebirth has been inspired by starting and finishing reading Our Noise: The Story of Merge Records (within the same season).  I really enjoyed this book, not only because I’m a big fan of most of the featured artists, but there really are a lot of great stories of the artistic struggle, ending both in success and not-so-much success, all under the arc of the success of Merge Records.

So now I am faced with the pile of books that I started and never finished, my goal being to finish them.

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