Let’s Declare December 29th International “Be Rotten” Day

In the build up to Christmas there are a lot of “be good or Santa wont come” threats in my house.  For the most part I do not feel that it has any effect, but it is good to get the kids thinking about the consequences of their behaviour (my 4 year old kept telling my 1 year old that she would receive a rock).

Operating under the assumption that one’s behaviour is in fact influenced by the powers of Santa, then December 1-24 is a month of exceptionally good behaviour.  Each box of the advent calendar gives your soul a little extra boost of Christmas cheer.

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Random Historical Shout Out – Louis Pasteur

Ever wonder where the term pasteurization came from.  Well, it came from this guy.

He discovered the way to keep things like milk and wine from making people sick.  Great job, totally useful.  Without him I would have to stop drinking wine.

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How I Spent My Snow Day

  1. Wake up
  2. Eat breakfast
  3. Shovel
  4. Work (trying to convince my children to do something else)
  5. Eat Lunch
  6. Shovel
  7. Work (kids napping)
  8. Take mother-in-law to hospital
  9. Work
  10. Shovel
  11. Pull kid in sled
  12. Pick up mother-in-law from hospital (broken wrist)
  13. Eat dinner
  14. Play with kids
  15. Put kids to bed
  16. Shovel
  17. Go to bed (now)

Stay tuned for poetic version.

The Universe continues to coincidentally mess with my mind

Sometimes I just do not know what to think about the universe. I am a very logical, pragmatic kind of person. There is reason and order about the world. I like the idea of fantastical things but do not actually believe in them.

The challenge is that there are so many strange little things that happen in life and I cannot reconcile them against the logical part of my brain. As comforting as it would be to be able to see the universe as an ordered place that can be understood and explained, I am forced to accept that there is a wackiness factor to life that I will likely never understand. I am okay with that, though, because really that is what keeps things interesting.

Today’s example:

I’m checking on some of my blog descriptions and find the following line (which is meant to kick off a writing exercise) on The Parking Lot Confessional:

If I could just get her to say it, this would all go away.

I consider this for a few seconds (I have no intention of participating in the exercise at this time) and my first thought is:

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!!!

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Superchunk Fan Fiction

This came out of recently listening to a great episode of Comedy Death-Ray Radio starring Ted Leo, Aimee Mann, Paul F. Tompkins and Jon Wurster.

A funny, off-hand comment mentioned the idea of Superchunk Fan Fiction.  I’m not a big fan of fan fiction, but this could be fun.

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How We Are Making Ourselves Dummer

I wrote an article on the dangers of the internet.  It is not just the predators that we have to watch out for.  In an effort to continue my social media experiment I have posted it through Triond, but please go ahead and read it.  Sorry for all the ads.

Article here.

Oh dear, what have I done to my child?

A man stands alone in a bathroom in his house, leaning against the counter.  In his hand is a toothbrush.  A child’s toothbrush, toothpaste already applied and moistened with a splash of water.

He waits.  Patiently?  Somewhat, I suppose.

A four-year old girl with striking resemblance to the man runs by the bathroom door.  A moment later she runs past in the other direction and darts into her room.

He waits.  Patiently?  Perhaps, but less so than before.

The girl appears again and this time runs into the bathroom.  The man steps forward in anticipation, but rather than stop she continues on to the tissue box.  She announces her need for a tissue, takes a tissue from the box and runs out of the bathroom.  The man returns to his leaning position.

He waits.  Patiently?  Not so much anymore.

The man takes in a breath and prepares to call to the girl but holds back as the girl re-enters the bathroom.  Once again, though, she does not stop at the man, but rather turns to the towel rack and wipes something from her hands.

“I love standing here waiting for you” the man says.

“No you don’t, daddy” the daughter replies.

The man sighs with the realization that his four-year old daughter has just learned sarcasm.

1000 Visits – Time To Party (and exploit my kid)

My blog has reached 1000 visits in about 6 weeks.  Not too shabby considering I have not told any friends or family about it.  Thanks to you for the visits, be you friend, random visitor, follower of celebrity tweet or spam-bot.  Drinks are on me.

She doesn't like beer but she likes posing for photos.

Here’s to me becoming an Internet blogging sensation and quitting my job to write full-time (which I expect will happen right about the time that the Internet retires).

Active Writer’s Block

In order to battle my current bout of writer’s block I am going to list out the what I see as the problems.  Then I will go back and propose possible solutions to myself.  So to you this list will look complete from the start, but trust me, this was an “exercise” for me.

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One day I will explain Twtter to my kids and they will stare a me blankly

I will explain it to them in more detail and they will ask Why?

I will try to explain why and they will start to lose interest and wander away and I will snap at them and demand their attention.

Then I will tell them about this day (well, yesterday, actually).  The day I made Twitter history (nobody noticed or cared).  In my own mind.  They day I replied to a tweet by one of my musical idols, @tedleo, with a joke, only to have it snowball into a massive (6 post) trending topic culminating in a tweet by my other musical hero Superchunk (or whatever band member is behind the @superchunkband tweets).

And my children will look at me, shake their heads and walk away.  And I will continue to wonder if I will every turn into the adult that my body seems determined to mimic.